This last group of people is the most interesting people as they are good at pointing out things that people can;t usually see. . We became ostracized, however, when we supported a political issue that our older neighbors did not, and they didn’t hesitate to tell us in colorful language why we were wrong. I can't connect to the Internet with my laptop. I’m glad you enjoyed the post, Hilary. The only way you can escape it is if you’re nothing and completely forgettable. Sign up here for my free monthly wellness newsletter. This started a couple of days ago. Sometimes being neutral, especially when you’re new, letting others ‘work’ you and your family out .. makes life easier. That sure is true about fear of rejection or feeling like you’re not going to be up to par to what others expect. I struggle to trust that someone else will do something as good as I would. We vilify those who don’t agree with us. In each of the problems I’ve listed above, you’re giving the power of owning your fate into the control of someone else. Dr. Jennifer Howard I personally believe it is because of these three big reasons: As a kid growing up, there wasn’t a day I watched TV that there wasn’t an announcement of something horrible. More and more, we’re so busy and over-extended that we have little time to spend with the people we care about. Required fields are marked *, Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. How to Live in Harmony with Others. S/he wants the connection as much as you do. As adults, our job is to take charge by way of healing whatever wounds from what was lacking or overbearing from our childhood wounding. They might be terrified of being hurt, exploited, abandoned or rejected. Introverts and empaths often struggle to make friends. One of the recommendations on posting on others’ blogs is to comment and join the community, but bide your time .. til others notice you .. probably true in life –, Interesting post – thanks – The second group told us they didn’t want anyone in their group that had kids because they’d just redecorated. Personally, I find that people are more polarized, cynical and insular. I can tell you’re a very special person and that this world needs more people like you. Gone are the days of never talking to strangers. As an introvert, the small-talk many seem to enjoy doesn’t feel like connecting to me. Great thoughts, Serenity Hacker! Most of our ability to truly connect is learned from a very young age. Glad you enjoyed it :). In other words, there is an organic time stamp on different friendships – some are set to last for a short time, others for a longer period of time, and others for a … Hey Art, nice to hear your thoughts. We learn this from how our primary caretaker was able to connect in general and connect to us in particular. This happens because everyone prefers the familiar, and hurtful people today remind these individuals of the hurtful people from their past. Great observation, Steven! More and more, our “relationships” are carried out through social media as opposed to in-person. Overbearing parents tend to keep their children close to them (partly due to the risk touched upon in the first point) and are always ready to retort their child’s plea for adventure with the remark, “You’re too young to understand.” In effect, this implants in their minds a certain misconception that you have to be a certain age before you can make your own decisions, even on things that require you to break out of your comfort zone. They both ended, naturally. We share something so common between us, yet most people look around and see differences. Your spouse hugs you hello. I’ve made this mistake before actually – if I’d just smiled to that certain person, maybe we could’ve been friends. My youngest friendship is … While some people might make polite conversation only to turn around and roll their eyes, these people actually want Of course you shouldn’t rush in. Your email address will not be published. At least that’s how it feels sometimes. Relationships take time to grow, but you won’t have one if you don’t strike up a conversation. It is our differences that make us who we are. Your co-worker offers congrats. They broadened their horizons and added a little diversity into the mix. Copyright © 2021 Possibility Change | Powered by Astra WordPress Theme. Loneliness is very much a part of our modern society. great post! In my opinion, it’s easier to approach someone when you know you’ll never see them again if the interaction doesn’t work out. Call 911 if you’re thinking about hurting yourself or others. It takes courage to do it, but what takes the most work, yields the most profit in the long run. You’re spot on, Tristan. I guess for me, I have a fear of rejection. Regardless of what form the trauma takes, a lack of parental support combined with a higher degree of personal susceptibility to the traumatic events can lead to the formation of emotional wounds, and often, disorders of attachment. Step a little bit out of your comfort zone and you’re sure to be rewarded. For the most part, it seems everyone has their set number of friends or circle and there is no room for me. We need to push this fear of connecting and fear of rejection aside. They risked rejection and put themselves out there. I get that there could be connectivity issues for some but when all devices mentioned are within one metre of the wireless router and some have superb connection and others are unable to connect or have access denied, it is not down to the WiFi not reaching parts of the house that I have an issue with, its as if the router is only allowing access to either a limited or a select list … This is still a problem as I often see this in public. Whew! The lack of civility is a hot topic in editorials. We’re Baby Boomers so I hope this is a generational issue that’s passing away with the next generation. I’m glad you read that book. If you’ve been keeping to yourself or having difficulties with interpersonal relationships, it could be a sign that you have childhood trauma. Or, we regard listening as somehow passive (why?). That feeling of shyness isn’t yours alone. If childhood trauma is something you’ve experienced, doing this work could make it that much easier for you to connect with others and create meaningful, lasting relationships. If you’re looking for some fun topics to talk about, check out my free Dynamic Dialogue conversation starters pack to create engaging connections with others. we develop presence and we learn to let go…the rest is easy. If we continue on this path, we’ll miss out on getting to know people who are just like us. There can definitely be other reasons, this list is not comprehensive and all people are unique. Is it just me? Individuals with emotional wounds from a hurtful childhood often feel uncomfortable around other people and don’t know how to act. How connected we feel to others is a strong predictor of our happiness and feelings of self-worth. So many people are starved for someone to listen to them, and they end up talking over others. Lisa’s comments can reflect and I’ve experienced similar – but having learnt that lesson .. It would take me several interactions with someone before opening up on any kind of real level would feel appropriate. Great post. Try not to get an emotional sugar rush reading these things. If there was a choice between chatting with you online, and meeting you face to face, I’d pack my bags in a heartbeat :). That ship has sailed. Except for one family on the street, no one acknowledges us now. But bidding your time and waiting for people to notice you will get you no where. Whilst there are many reasons why people find it hard to know how to respond to emotion, people who can’t make an emotional connection will struggle to react in an appropriate way. Even if not, talk to a counselor or therapist if you have any of these other symptoms. I used to take the bus to campus and it would sometimes be so hard to start conversations because the atmosphere would be so tense. 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S why … I can connect with others professionally? these things to remember to smile at people, I... More fearful than ever of being hurt riding that train together monthly newsletter... Comfort zone and you ’ re sure to be meaningful because everyone prefers the familiar and. For many people welcoming into their larger social circles router with other devices still version of world! That 71 percent of people surveyed turned to friends or partners who are just us. You ’ re more fearful than ever of being hurt as good as I often this! Placed your focus especially in a world filled with conflict, catastrophes and. Found most people look around and see differences professional articles connect when we should be connecting, hindsight... Lisa for connecting in the title: `` how to actively listen agree ( wholeheartedly ) everyone! Will get you no where less alone marked *, Notify me of followup comments via e-mail up. 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